“Golf is a good walk spoiled.” – Mark TwainI play golf. Not well, but I play. It’s a great chance for me to get some exercise, connect with the people (usually guys) I’m playing with, and spend some quiet time reprioritizing. I’ve played since middle school and actually used to hit the links a few times a year with my youth pastor while I was in high school.
Usually, we’d walk down the fairways together or ride in a cart on the really hot days. We chatted about youth group, my looming college decision, sports, music, whatever came up. I don’t remember many of the conversations clearly–most of them were the usual miscellaneous chitchat of friends and fellow golfers–but one stands out in particular.
I’d been leading worship for the youth group’s weekly service along with a couple friends. One of them was from the Allen Iverson school of practice: inconsistent, distracting, didn’t come with the right attitude, and usually just goofed off.
“Mike, you’ve got to talk to him,” he began. “As a leader, it’s your role to lead. I know you and [the guitarist] are really good friends. But if he’s not practicing and is a distraction while you’re trying to lead, then you have to talk to him about it–as the worship leader first and a friend second.”
In retrospect, my youth pastor wasn’t passing down a message direct from on high. He was just helping me become a better leader. But his challenge to put ministry before a friendship when the situation called for it was a pretty big challenge for 16-year-old Mike.
Now, as a youth worker, it’s my responsibility to try and do the same thing. We have the potential to be a catalyst for change–in large ways and small–in the lives of teenagers.
Doug Fields and Matt McGill wrote about this recently for YouthMinistry.com:
“After the memories have been made and the relationships
established, there will be moments when you will have the opportunity to
challenge a teenager to make a new spiritual step. With discernment,
the right word can propel him/her to connect with God in deeper ways….Start out slow. Build bridges by talking about normal
stuff, don’t jump straight into the deep end and ask them to dress like
John the Baptist and prophesize like Jeremiah. Every conversation
doesn’t have to be a tipping point opportunity, so don’t feel the need
to force it.”
Easier said than done, right? They offered seven steps to act as catalysts for change in the lives of students:
Draw them closer to Jesus.Be committed to their self discoveryAsk questions.Listen well.Don’t interrupt.Focus on being faithful rather than successful.
I didn’t realize it while I was on the golf course years ago, but this is exactly what my youth pastor did for me. During our rambling walks across fairways and through the rough, he allowed me to guide the conversation, talk about the issues that mattered to me, and (most importantly) actually listened to what I had to say. Then, when the time called for it, he took the opportunity to say something to me that challenged me to become a better person and a better leader.
Also, my putting got a lot better, too.
(Image courtesy of R’eyes on Flickr)
