Teen 2.0 by Robert Epstein if a must-read for any parent or youthworker concerned about discipling young people. This book explores why American teenagers act the way they
do, the cultural phenomenon of adolescence, and how much trouble the
youth of America are in.
Although a bit long (over 400 pages, including appendices), Teen 2.0
is very accessible and essential reading material for anyone who cares about the development of teenagers.
I highly recommend it, but be warned: it will rock your world. Here's a
brief synopsis:
Arguing
that adolescence is an unnecessary period of life that people are
better off without, this groundbreaking study shows that teen confusion
and hardships are caused by outmoded systems that were designed to
destroy the continuum between childhood and adulthood.
Documenting how teens are isolated from adults and are forced to look
to their media-dominated peers for knowledge, this discussion contends
that by infantilizing young people, society does irrevocable harm to
their development and well-being. Instead, parents, teachers, employers,
and others must rediscover the adults in young people by giving them
authority and responsibility as soon as they exhibit readiness.
Teens are highly capable-in some ways more than adults-and this
landmark discussion offers paths for reaching and enhancing the
competence in America's youth.
As I read Teen 2.0, I thought of of remarkable young people like Zach Hunter
who are doing incredible things in the world.
Why, then, is the first thought
that comes to mind when I think of teenagers "irresponsible" or
"unreliable"? Maybe adolescence really is a cultural phenomenon.
Working for a ministry
that deals a lot with discipleship, I found
this book to be relevant to the work that we do, not just
with youth, but also with college students and young adults, who are also affected by adolescence.
I've seen young people want to be empowered
and demonstrate the competency to follow through on their commitments. The struggle
is with the adults letting go of control and letting them fail.
Reading Teen 2.0 taught me that adolescence has infiltrated our culture in detrimental ways, and our youth are now paying the price for it.
What do you think: Is adolescence a cultural phenomenon? How do we address it?
...According to the Barna study, 85 percent of the youth that were surveyed
felt more loved by God and more than 80 percent said they learned new
things about God and Jesus.
They think the youth leadership team will do it for them - If
all we do is preach Matthew 28:19-20, but don't push them to take
action they will always expect us to do it for them.
They are afraid of rejection - It's that point when
you begin to share your faith in Christ and the person cuts you off
before you even have a chance to get into the meat of the gospel story.
They lack the confidence - All of us at some point has
and will experience moments where our confidence level is low.
They don't know how to bring it up - How do you make the transition
in conversation from talking about the weather to Jesus?
They are afraid they don't know enough - This goes
back to our part as leaders, discipling and training our teens to share
their faith. If they are growing deep in their faith then sharing it
will get easier every time.
They are afraid they will be labeled as religious - When our teens share the love of Christ instead
religion, not everyone will label them as a religious nut. When sharing
our faith we need to show people our hearts and true intentions.
It's not lived out in their homes & churches - If Mom
and Dad aren't modeling it and the church isn't modeling it, our teens
won't be doing it.
Evangelical youth now hold the term "missionary at arm's length, afraid
of the colonialist connotations of the word. They prefer being involved
in "social justice" under the auspices of a more generalized Christian
sense of charity rather than operating under anything resembling (groan) "soul winning."
Certainly, this raises the ageless question of whether short-term missions are still effective or relevant. That is, however, a topic for another time. For the sake of this discussion, let's assume that we agree that short-term missions still have a place in the church and the development of a young person's faith.
How, then, do you deal with this issue of increased wariness of short term mission trips among youth and young adults?
That is, how do you get your students to get involved in missions without leaving Jesus out of it?
1. Remember that the primary function of a short-term mission trip is to partner with God in what he's doing in a given part of the world. 2. Always seek to serve those with whom you are partnering -- whatever that may mean. 3. Lay down your expectations and be ready for whatever the Spirit wants to do. 4. Be flexible. 5. Honor the authorities over you, including government and church authorities. 6. Leave a light cultural and financial foot print in the area that you're visiting. 7. Be a learner. Prepare for your trip by studying the culture or area that you're visiting, but also continue to ask questions and learn during the trip. 8. Be respectful of and sensitive to cultural differences. 9. Demonstrate integrity. Don't make promises about following up or staying in touch that you can't keep. If you do make them, keep them. 10. Make prayer the staple of the trip. Ask God what to do, where to go, and how to act each and every day. Strive to go deeper in the Lord through this experience, and look for signs of how he may be answering your prayers each day of the project.
We all have choices to make. In life. In ministry. In following Christ.
Here is a video of Clint Bokelman, sharing about his days as a youth pastor when he faced a tough decision he had to make. He tells a story about his youth group and church reaching a point of spiritual breakthrough that wouldn't have happened had it not made a choice.
Our choices that we make in this life matter. We'd love to hear from you and how you're processing through this season. Is God leading you to make a choice? What is it?
What is an example of a choice that you made in your life or ministry that defined you?
To choose your next mission trip with AIM, find out more by clicking here.
What's your youth ministry look like right now? Are you slowing down (even ever so slightly) and accessing how your summer and fall programs went? What are some of the things you're looking to do in 2011 to build disciples?
In our ministry, we're about to kickoff fundraising activities for a small team of youth and adults that will be heading down to Haiti in July (you know, because it's so nice in the Caribbean that time of year). And we just finished our fall retreat, so the team is focused on continuing to build the relationships with our younger/new students that developed during the weekend away.
I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas -- it means a break is coming, and I'll have some time to reflect on what's working and what we'd like to try out in the new year. While building disciples isn't about programs and activities, it's still worth weighing their effectiveness in light of your long-term goals.
Clint Bokelman, AIM's director of short term missions, shares some thoughts about reflecting on the past and planning for the future in this quick video.
Anyone else out there a big Paulo Coelho fan? (He wrote The Alchemist, one of the best-selling novels of all time and a personal favorite of mine.)
He's also a pretty prolific blogger and wrote a post recently called, "Yes, It Is Worth It." Here it is in its entirety:
Life is like a big bike race where the goal is to fulfill you personal legend.
At the start, we are riding together, sharing the camaraderie and enthusiasm. But as the race progresses, the initial joy gives way to the real challenges: tiredness, monotony and doubts about our own abilities.
We notice that some have withdrawn. They are still running, but only because they cannot stop in the middle of a road. They are numerous, pedaling alongside the support car, talking to each other and performing only their obligations.
Eventually we distance ourselves from them and we are forced to face the loneliness and the surprises of the unknown curves with the bikes. And after a while, we begin to wonder if it's worth the effort.
Yes, it is worth it. Just don't quit.
I read that and it seemed to me as if Paulo was writing about being a youth worker. The burnout rate in this ministry field is so high -- maybe you can relate to the rider who pushes ahead, alone and wondering if it's worth the effort? Are you at a point where you would rather just coast along versus take another risk of moving forward?
If you are, then my message is the same as Paulo's... Yes, it is worth it. Just don't quit.
In a bike race, the person who surges ahead to the finish might win money, temporary fame, or maybe just a yellow jersey. But in youth ministry, our prize is far greater. We are running this race, striving forward, to hear our Creator smile and say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."
For those of you who haven't seen this video of Francis Chan talking about risk and security, it's a must-see for parents and youth workers. (If you're reading this via email or in a feed-reader, click here to watch the video.)
Here are some interesting quotes from Francis on our lives and faith:
"I'm just gonna have my nice little family. We're just gonna keep to ourselves. We're going to live in a gated community. I'm gonna home-school my kids, make 'em wear helmets everywhere...."
"You just live your life in the safety of 'I don't want to do anything crazy for God.'"
"Your greatest prayer is, 'God, I would love to die in my sleep and not even feel it... and then just go up to heaven.'"
His basic premise is this: Living a life of safety as a Christian is not a life of true faith, and we would be foolish to think that God is pleased with it.
To make his point, Francis asks if we can imagine God saying on Judgment Day: "Wow, well done. Well done. You lived the safest life possible. You didn't slip; you didn't fall..."
That's not the life that God has called us to.
It's not the life that Jesus lead, not what he called his disciples to do, not how his church was built... and not how we're supposed to live, either.
How does this challenge you today?
How could you live a life that is more than "the safest life possible"? How could you challenge your students (or your kids or friends or neighbors) to step out of security and into the deeper life of dependence on God?
For an adventure full of faith and risk, consider a mission trip with Adventures in Missions. Find out more about our youth group trips.
Here's something I never expected to give much thought to when I started out as a youth worker: child care during youth group.
Last week, I had a parent of one of our teens ask if it was okay for her son to invite a friend to youth group the next week (of course!). She'd bring her 5-month-old (wha-huh?). Put on the spot like that, it took me a few moments of sputtering and stammering to form a well-thought out answer.
As my mind raced and the parent waited for an answer, I weighed the pluses and minuses of bringing a baby to youth group.
On the positive side, we don't want to discriminate against anyone who wants to come to our meetings. We strive to do the opposite of what the world does, especially in the case of someone like a young teenage mother, and welcome them with open arms. While I've never experienced what it's like to be a teen mom (the laws of the physical universe prevent that), I have to believe it can be a scary, lonely experience. She could benefit tremendously by coming into an environment where people love and care for her.
On the other hand, youth group nights are nuts. We have dozens of kids running all over the building, knocking over chairs, throwing stuff around, and risking life and limb to win games (and that's just during the message, ha). It is the second-worst place you could bring a baby just behind the inside of a microwave. And there are all the natural disruptions that babies cause such as feeding/changing/crying that would require special preparation to accommodate.
When pressed for an immediate answer, I had to say no. Our youth group wasn't a safe or positive place to bring a baby.
The decision nagged at me, though. Aren't we supposed to love and treat everyone equally? Was I rejecting someone who already faced a long list of rejections?
To try and solve the issue moving forward, I've asked the parent who talked with me to volunteer as a babysitter during our meetings to give the teen a break from being a mom and the chance to just be a teenager for a couple hours a week. And we're going to refer her to a local YoungLives program, which is geared especially for teen moms.
Here's the question, though.
Did I do the right thing? How have you handled the issue of teen parents bringing babies and infants in your youth group?
And if you haven't yet... start thinking about it! Three out of every 10 girls become pregnant at least once before age 20. You might have to face this decision yourself in the not-too-distant future.
Arguing
that adolescence is an unnecessary period of life that people are
better off without, this groundbreaking study shows that teen confusion
and hardships are caused by outmoded systems that were designed to
destroy the continuum between childhood and adulthood.
Here's something I never expected to give much thought to when I started out as a youth worker: child care during youth group.